Some matters on style are hardly serious (my post yesterday, for instance); and although it’s all important to me, I recognize that a manifesto on belts is not going to change lives. My work with clients is the same. They’ll humor me when I unleash a tirade against capri pants, all the while recognizing that these little niche issues are not outside the closet/larger world relevant. That is, until we reach a place where they are: where style and self-esteem overlap. A notable part of my job (and one I take very seriously) is to show how others see you. As you may guess, it’s not at all what you see.

The Good News- When we look at you, we see the big picture. Your skinny calves, or bigger hips or rounder stomach or broader shoulders are noticeable only to you because you’ve had a lifetime of looking at them! Consider what you see when looking at your stylish friends. Do you zero in on their ‘imperfect’ parts? Has the inner dialog you hear when looking in the mirror ever applied to anyone else? Nobody sees your ‘imperfections’ but you. Additionally, since the grass is always greener, your rounder butt/hips/bigger boobs are often coveted by those with a different body type. Personally, since I’m shaped like an apple, I think women with hips and booty look amazing.

The Bad News- When your style decisions are based solely around covering up or camouflaging one or two parts, when you can’t see the big picture of an amazing outfit because you’re hyper focused on the smallest detail, you are limited (at best) and stunted (at worst). This can be anything from wearing exclusively bootcut jeans because they cover more, to rejecting an outfit because a pocket bulges slightly, to refusing to wear anything loose. Great style is about the entire package, how everything works in careful balance and contrast. Use that critical eye constructively by picking the best pieces possible and focus on seeing you as others do. Your style (and self esteem) will thank you.